34 - 2/22/11 - Marshside Storytime

Initial Impressions

34 – 2/22/11 – Marshside Storytime

Snow Chance In Hell: c. 2002/03

Okay so this is a first Initial Impressions to feature Marshside Storytime.  These are pulled from the archives of my nearly 18 years at the Marsh.  They are all hilarious, although some are probably going to make me look like a real asshole.  Whatever, there is a statute of limitations on these actions.  Enjoy.

At the old Marshside we had a large barn located across the small dirt parking lot.  It was here that we had our walk-in fridge, prep area, and a large section of the barn which was filled with paper goods and a lot of random stuff.

                At one point we had a really weak intercom system put in.  It worked at first but not too long after it sounded like when you put your whole mouth over a microphone, it became just a bunch of garbled sounds.  It became more reliable to step out onto our deck and shout or whistle for somebody in the prep area if we needed something to be brought over.

                When it would snow we would take to throwing snowballs at the side of the barn.  Sometimes to get people’s attention, sometimes for fun, sometimes to throw at people.  Hey, we’re only human.

                Anyway, there was one time where this one guy Bento was in the prep room doing his thing when we needed him to bring us something.  A few snowballs and shouts brought him to the door.  I told him what we needed and he went to get it.  Of course, I had another snowball left over, it couldn’t go to waste.

                When he came back out I fired the snowball at him but missed.  He was not amused.  I enjoyed it though and decided that the game of the day would be to see how many times I could call to Bento, get him to come out, and then how many times I could hit him with snowballs.

                After a couple of times, and a couple of bad misses by me, he wised up.  I shouted to him and threw a snowball at the barn but Bento would not come out.  I was not to be denied the satisfaction of drilling him with my perfectly round ball of frozen water so I went in the prep room after him.  

                I quietly opened the screen door and the storm door and crept a few steps back to where our tiny prep area was.  There was an unsuspecting Bento chopping lettuce for salads.  Aww, maybe I shouldn’t since he has no idea?  Wrong.

                Being a sport I shouted, “Hey!”  Bento looked up and his eyes got huge behind his giant Drew Carey-like black-rimmed glasses. 

                “No!  No!”  Bento shouted as he pressed himself up against the wall knowing the end was near for him.  He acted as if I was Jason Voorhees and was about to throw an axe at him.  This scene of pure horror from him caught me off guard and I busted out laughing.  There was no way I could control myself.  Still, it was too late to turn back.  I cocked my arm back while still laughing and fired the snowball from about eight-feet away. 

                My aim was sad thanks to my laughter and the snowball sailed to the left knocking a clock off of the wall.  The snow splattered against the wall the clock spun around in the air bouncing off of the shelves on the left side of the prep room.  Bento breathed a sigh of relief and I dashed out of the prep room still laughing.  I think it took a few weeks for him to trust me enough to come outside when I whistled for him.  Ahh, good times. 

Altered to protect the innocent.