46 - 3/25/11 - Adventures In Landscaping

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

46 – 3/25/11

Adventures In Landscaping

            I figured I’d take a little break from my Marshside Storytime to tell you all a little story about the one season I did landscaping back in 2002.  After you read this you will definitely see why it was only one season.  This post will be mostly about the rash of injuries and calamities that befell me during a really fun six-month period.  Some of those injuries still exist to this day, yeah I know, pretty sad.

            I believe that these events are in chronological order but I cannot be certain, it was almost ten years ago.  At the company where I worked we were loading up equipment for a mulching job.  It was drizzly and windy, a really great day to work outside.  Anyway, I was loading a wheelbarrow into the back of the rack body truck when a gust of wind came up.  For those of you who don’t know what a ‘rack body’ means it basically is a metal shell or rack back with a pair of heavy metal doors which swing out to either side and latch in the center to close.

            So the wind picked up and blew one of the metal doors my way, it blasted me in the back of the head which felt like a dream come true.  Everything went white and then slowly faded back into normal.  I worked that day in various states of consciousness, I didn’t pass out by I was pretty wobbly.  Pretty sure I got a concussion from that event, but the nine hour work day in the rain and wind sealed it as one of my least favorite days in a while.

            You ever think something is going to be light and then when you go to pick it up you find out that it is heavier than you thought?  I had that happen as well.  I was rushing to load up a truck on another day and went to grab a wheelbarrow.  Those are not really heavy, more awkward than anything.  However, when they are pinned underneath something that weighs several hundred pounds they become a recipe for disaster.

            I reached down and grabbed the base of the overturned wheelbarrow to slide it out so I could turn it over.  The wheelbarrow did not budge but my left shoulder did.  It popped right out of the socket and then went back in.  Well, almost.  It is called a subluxation rather than a separation but the problem was that my shoulder went it at a slightly different angle.  It hurt but I could work through it, that ended up being a mistake as now many years later the area has healed that way.  So I could have had it fixed immediately with less trouble, but now a doctor would have to tear all of my ligaments to get it out and put it back.  Gross, huh?  That’s why I might let it stay slightly misaligned forever.  Oh but wait there’s more.

            I remember working on a job at a motel.  I was using the string trimmer to edge the grassy area near a small playground.  Being in a rush since it was getting late I put my head down and trimmed rather sloppily to get it done.  Bad idea.  In my haste with my head down I smashed my head into a really thick tree branch.  My neck gave way, the branch did not.  It was like running head first into a wall.  So, the moral of the story is look where you’re going and also do the job right or you might get your head smashed in.

            Last but not least there was a job site in Sagamore.  It was a new development with no running water yet.  We always brought gallon jugs of water with us so that was to be no trouble, right?  On this day it was close to 100 degrees, close to 100% humidity.  A real peach of a day.  There was also no shade and we were digging out a hill of sand for a wall to be put in.  The best part?  My partner for the day had an errand to run and I left my water in the truck when he left.  No water, 100 degrees, no shade, you see where this is going?

            After a short time I was seeing purple spots everywhere and I knew that could not be good.  Heat exhaustion is not a pretty experience.  An hour of hell later my coworker returned with my water which I downed pretty quickly.  I did not realize how bad I was until I got home and decided to take a really cold shower.  After all day in that sweltering heat once I was hit by the cold my lungs closed up.  It was like Andre the Giant squeezing me.  Almost drowned in the shower, classic.

             Needless to say I was through with landscaping once the season ended.  Although it did give me a good idea for the future, travel writing.  I almost always enjoyed the drives off Cape and wanted to spend more time checking out the sights than raking and mulching.  So I guess I do owe my old knucklehead boss that.   I owe him that but nothing else, he was straight meathead all the way.  Cheers!