39 - 3/1/11 - Marshside Storytime V

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

39 – 3/01/11

Marshside Storytime V – A Forbidden Kiss

          Every work place has secret romances, hookups, and real relationships.  The Marshside is no different.  However, what I am about to share with you is none of those things.  What this story entails is a moment that changed the course of two lives forever.  I understand that everybody has a different view of what love is, and a different idea of their perfect mate.  I repeat, this is not about love, it’s about carnal lust.  Enjoy.

            We start on a warm and sunny afternoon.  Our dear friend Bento had gone next door to the prep area to mix a fresh batch of mashed potatoes.  He was always one to take pride in his work, at least when he wanted to have photos of his work taken and sent home to Brazil.  Bento had specifically put me in charge of taking a few photos of him ‘hard at work’ to show his family back home just how great he was.

            Now after you get over laughing at Bento and ‘hard at work’ in the same sentence we’ll move on.  I got Bento’s camera and waited for him on the deck as he walked across the parking lot carrying the mixing bowl of mashed potatoes in one hand like he was carrying a trophy.  He was so into looking cool that he was not aware of the life altering moment soon to come.

            As he stopped at the bottom of the deck steps to pose for a photo and new waiter named Nick headed outside to head across the parking lot and into the barn for some paper goods.  Nick had only been at the Marsh for a few days and his backstory was not known by any of us.  However, within a few seconds his legacy would have been made, and a legendary story told.

            I held the camera up to my eye and waited expecting Nick to pass on by and head across the parking lot.  Rather than do that he stopped next to Bento.  I figured he wanted to be in the shot so I went along with it.  Then Nick did something unexpected, he kissed Bento on the cheek.  For anyone who has seen ‘All In the Family’ the episode where Sammy Davis Jr. kisses Archie, and the face that Archie makes is essentially what happened here.  Bento’s proud smile disappeared and was replaced with a horrified blank stare as he realized that I had indeed taken the photo. 

            Naturally Bento was angry, I mean unless you’re into that who wants to be kissed by another man, especially a total stranger.  Nick, after realizing that the ‘joke’ was not going over well, insisted he was not gay.  Bento cussed him out in Portuguese and insisted he was going to destroy that photo.  I suggested that he send it along to Brazil to show his family his new lifestyle in America.  He did not agree.

            Nick did not stick around for more than another few days but the image of that forbidden kiss has lasted for now about eight years.  Bento has never lived it down.  Anytime Nick’s name was mentioned it was met with a barrage of Portuguese swears and a lot of laughter from the rest of us.  It was one of the classic moments in Marsh history.

            So there you have it.  I told you this was not a love story.  It was pure carnal lust.  Nick needed a piece of that Brazilian Drew Carey look alike and who could blame him.  Bento’s magnetism drew Nick in and he needed to quench his desires.  Too bad they could not carry that moment with them forever but it will live on here.  Cheers!  

38 - 2/28/11 - Marshside Storytime IV

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

38 – 2/28/11

Marshside Storytime IV – Swans

          Swans are one of the most beautiful birds.  They are so majestic as you watch them gracefully swim across a pond from a safe distance.  I say from a safe distance because up close swans are much different.  They are two sides of the same coin and are the subject of this Marshside Storytime.

            Being a restaurant on a marsh it is quite common to see one or several swans swimming around in the marsh river or closer to shore when the tide is high.  Unfortunately some of us who have worked at the Marsh have been guilty of feeding the swans which only made them come closer and made them hungrier. 

            If we were not there to feed the swans there would be times when the swans would come to us.  I can remember on more than one occasion seeing a four-foot tall white shape waddling its way up the small hill from the marsh to the land.  These swans had only one thing on their minds and heaven help you if you did not have it.  Sure, I am making the swans sound evil, but you tell me how you’d react when a large hungry bird began hissing at you and opening its wings to a span of about six-feet across.

            The only thing scarier than being approached by a large hungry swan in the daylight is having it happen when it is dark.  This has happened before, back when the restaurant used to serve breakfast and we would have to be in at 6am.  The dumpster area as well as the deck was surrounded by a seven-foot fence with an opening about three-feet wide to enter through.  Anything not in front of that opening would be invisible.  The shock of a lifetime came for my Dad, Jack, when he came in early one morning and rounded that corner in the milky dawn startling a swan that had been searching for something to eat.  Needless to say the swan raised up, hissed, and opened its wings.  My Dad had to get the hell out of there until the swan got sick of acting tough.

            There was another incident involving a swan during the winter time.  This time however my Dad was prepared.  When the swan waddled up from the marsh and began hissing and getting tough my Dad sprung into action.  He had been shoveling away the snow around the deck area before anyone else came in.  When the swan hissed he was met with a heaping shovelful of snow.  This knocked him back but not out.  The swan came back and was met with more snow, this time knocking him tumbling back down into the marsh and ending his thirst for a fight.  This is not to mention the times that there was nobody there to stop the swans and they would venture out into the parking lot and hiss at and chase after unsuspecting customers.  Nobody ever got hurt, at least not enough to yell at us for siccing our rabid swans on them.

            Perhaps the most well known swan story, and one of the most famous Marsh tales period involves a perfect storm.  The old Marsh had a porch section with amazing views, which is why they were always the tables to fill up first.  The customers loved watching the wildlife do their thing while they ate.  They especially loved the beautiful swans.

            On this occasion it was a summer night, still light out as the people ate just after 6pm.  They watched with glee as the swans swam over in the marsh river.  It was a perfect night for these customers.  That all came to an end when the swans took off to go find a different spot to hang out.  You’d think that in their lifetimes that the swan elders would tell the younger ones the things to avoid.  You know things like the power lines.

            One swan apparently had not gotten the memo.  It flew directly into the power lines causing a bright bunch of sparks which resulted in the power going out at the restaurant.  Oh, the horror for the people as they remarked how graceful the swans flew before one stupid one decided to give the people nightmares.

            The only thing worse than that was the removal of the cooked swan.  That job fell to Remi who had to don a pair of gloves and walk over the section of street where the swan lay smoldering and stuff it into a black garbage bag.  Contrary to popular opinion the swan was not used for any sort of special, it was deposited in the dumpster. 

            That idiot swan probably did not die in vain though, in the nearly 12 years since that incident no swan has ever even come close to the power lines.  Well, since the new restaurant opened the lines are underground, but you get the point.  Cheers! 

Beautiful, or evil?

37 - 2/26/11 - Marshside Storytime III

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

37 – 2/26/11

Marshside Storytime III

Y.M.C.A. – c.1999

            Halloween is always a fun time, no matter what age you are.  As a kid it was always the best to get dressed up and go Trick or Treating.  Once you get too old for the candy it does not mean that the Halloween festivities have to end.  For the longest time Halloween was one of the most fun days at the old Marsh.

            Nearly everyone would dress up in various costumes.  Kristin was/is a cat every year to keep up with consistency.  I can remember Dana piercing both ears one year which was pretty wild.  I myself have been a sort of tropical skeleton, and also went one year wearing my old Target uniform which I should have burned and then thrown in the dumpster but that’s a separate story.

            Through all of the years though nothing tops Halloween of 1999 when four of us came up with the best costumes ever: The Village People.  The four of us were myself, Maui, Dana, and Remi and man it was classic.

            I was the cop complete with a gun and handcuffs.  Maui was the Indian complete with a fake ass for some reason.  There is a great photo somewhere of my jamming the gun in his fake ass, of course I seem to not be able to find it at this time, you’ll just have to imagine it in your mind.  How warped is the image?

            Dana went as the construction worker tool belt and all and Remi was the biker with the leather jacket and sweet shades.  I completed the outfit by buying the Village People greatest hits CD so that we could play ‘YMCA’ in the kitchen for everyone’s amusement.

            The day was all set as I worked the day with Maui, Dana, and Remi working the night.  Once we were all there together there was only one more thing for us to do.  Go out and dance around to ‘YMCA’ in the dining room for the amusement of our customers.

            We got a huge round of applause and I’d like to say it felt like being a rock star but being applauded by mostly elderly people while dancing to the Village People is more of a male strip club nightmare rather than being a rock star.  Still, it was fun, and it was the best Halloween at the old Marsh.  Anybody else have Marsh Halloween stories to add?  Feel free to share!

3 of the 4 Village People, before Dana had arrive, he's probably glad he missed these photos.

36 - 2/25/11

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

36 – 2/25/11

In My Footsteps Trip

            This trip was to Smithfield & Woonsocket, RI as well as Attleboro, Mass.  250 total miles of driving, $30 on gas mostly thanks to the average price of gas being $3.30/gal.  Stupid oil, everybody yaps about electric cars and hybrids but the companies make them twice as expensive to buy, where’s the logic?

            I got tailed by a pine green Mini for a good ten miles on I-295, I was even going 80-85 and wondered how fast the crazy old man driving it wanted to go.

            Kind of funny story, I got into Smithfield and began checking for an historic home to photograph.  I drove past a house four times, circling over and over trying to find a spot to park.  I ended up parking on the next road down from the house and walking back.  It was then that I realized that it was not even the right house, so I took a couple of photos and shook my head in amazement.

            I visited the Smithfield Exchange Bank which was being renovated.  It is supposed to be haunted but I did not see or hear anything.  Still, I did take my time and check to be sure.  In the same area where I parked was a State Representative’s office which was coincidentally located next to a crematorium. 

            The Smith-Appleby House was my favorite spot in Smithfield.   It was a weird mix as it was vacant and quiet yet it was right near the hum of the interstate.  The homes were gold and red and there was a sweet view of a rolling hill over a creek and the Appleby family cemetery.  The only downside was the pile of rotting pumpkins on the front step, oh well, close enough to great.

            There was another historic home I stopped at but it is now an apartment complex.  I parked at the next door church and walked over passing an old woman getting in her car to leave.  She stared at me like I was a serial killer as I shot a few photos.  She drove off reeeeeeallly slow.  Then as I was leaving she was coming back, probably to make sure I didn’t burn the place down, so I smiled and waved like an ass, ha!

            The very next spot had a similar experience, I was shooting the Smithfield Town Hall when a guy came out and said they had good photos on their website, I explained why I was there and he said it was cool as long as I was not planning on filing a lawsuit against them.  Odd question, unless something like that has happened to them before.

            I really liked the Market Square Pavilion in Woonsocket right next to the Woonsocket Falls.  It is a cool brick building, I’ll add a photo.  They were working on the falls also, there was a crew in a small boat drifting around near the edge of the falls, lucky for them they didn’t go over, although it would have made for a great shot.  Yes, I did wait to make sure.

            I was lucky enough to park across from Woonsocket’s City Hall, lucky because there was an amazing mural on the back wall of the parking area.  It gave a cool vibe to the whole area.  There was also this odd Santa’s Workshop next to City Hall, it was enclosed in Plexi-glass which made me wonder how comfortable the Santa inside would have been.  Did they force some guy in there and leave him to smile and wave for 8 hours at a time?  How did that work?

            One of the coolest places I saw ended up being a Ukranian Orthodox Church, it looked like something out of India.  Oh and Woonsocket has more churches per mile than any city I have seen, must have been 2 dozen I saw in my time there and I only saw a fraction of the city.

            I had an old woman yell at me because she thought I took her photo when I was shooting the Stadium Theatre in Woonsocket.  I said I didn’t shoot her and she said she would have had to break my camera if I did.  Classy.  I guess if I looked like her I wouldn’t want my photo taken either.

            The Angle Tree Stone in Attleboro was probably the best thing I saw.  It is the old town marker dividing Attleboro and Plainville.  It looks like a 6 foot gravestone with writing on it from 1790.  Since asses kept trying to ruin it the stone is now behind plexi-glass and in a brick building.  It was still cool though set back like ¼ mi. from the road.

            My trip was good until I got to the Capron Park Zoo 10 minutes after it closed.  Yeah, so I had planned on tons of photos and a video inside, all ruined!  I rapidly lost interest in the remaining few spots after that.

            While shooting the Falls Fire Barn Museum in North Attleboro I had a nice The Birds moment with a group of crows making this horrible noise in the trees.  It’s like if you rewind a tape with the sound playing, really creepy.

            The trip was average but I was glad to have a sort of co-pilot with me, at least via texting.  Thank you, you always make things better by showing up.

Photos of the Day:

Smith-Appleby House with a great view.

Market Square Pavilion

The Angle Tree Stone behind the plexi-glass.

An amazing mural in Woonsocket.