8 - June 13, 2010 - Sh*t Maui Says Vol. 1

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Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

June 13, 2010 – Sh*t Maui Says Volume 1

1.      Maui on Tips for Wait Staff – “It doesn’t matter about the food, it comes down to service and looks.  Better looking means better tips.”

2.      Maui on Chocolate – “Breakfast of champions.”

3.      Maui when one of the dishwashers get upset – “Shut the f*ck up before I kick your ass.”

4.      Maui on the wait staff in general – “Why are you all so stupid!?”

5.      Maui on college kids working at the Marsh – “Stop wasting your parents’ money, obviously you’re not learning anything.”

6.      Maui on Customer Complaints (overcooked meats) – “Tell him come back here so I can choke his neck until it is the right color for his steak.”

7.      Maui on allergies – “I don’t believe him/her, I want to go out there and see their face swell up first.”

8.      Maui on getting the job done – “Take your time but hurry up.”

9.      Maui on working together – “Get out of my space.”

10.  Maui on executives – “He’s a f*cking bonehead.”

11.  Maui on horse racing – “Stupid f*cking horse, you’re gonna be hash by tomorrow!”

12.  Maui on cleanliness – “I want this place to be clean like my ass.”

13.  Maui on a dishwasher complaining of headaches – “What’s the matter?  You been whacking off so much that it made you dizzy?”

14.  Maui on special orders – “What the f*ck is this bull sh*t!?  They making their own f*cking menu out there?”

15.  Maui on his birthday celebration today – “We need to order some strippers, oh hey you’ll do!”

Song of the Day:  Pakalolo - Makaha Sons of Ni'ihau

Photo of the Day:  As the Village People, Halloween 1999 (Me, Maui, Remi)