9 - June 14, 2010 - Sh*t Maui Says - Vol. 2

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Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

June 14, 2010 – Sh*t Maui Says – Volume 2 – The Stories

1.      Lighting and attempting to smoke the wrong end of a cigarette.

2.      Dropping his glasses on a sheet pan of raw chicken and then proceeding to cook them for 45 minutes at 500 degrees.

3.      Forgetting his glasses and attempting to read a slip, beginning to put food down only to realize that it was the special sheet and not an order.

4.      Finding the oddest places to lay down, a shelf in the shed, bags of flour, inside the hall closet where we keep our plastic containers.

5.      In the old days when he wanted to fire someone there was a single chair in the barn where he would sit to deliver the ‘bad news’ to his intended victim.

6.      Having more extravagant dinners than most customers Ex: prime rib, homemade éclair, shrimp cocktail.  That’s good eating.

7.      Having more candy in his reach-in fridge than food to serve, more chocolate than the Hershey factory, and a stash of ice cream treats in the freezer.  He knows what he likes.

8.      Letting me fill his IPod with music, 800+ songs, and then proceeding to erase it all when he added Pandora to it.  This was after I had filled it and erased it myself and then refilled it, going in circles.

9.      When I did prep as a teen there was always a full piece of yellow-lined paper with two columns of work to do, no punching out just TCB, Liam and Brian can back me up on that.

10.  One day I needed a ride into work, I woke up at 4:45am and saw Maui coming up to the door to wake me up!  I told him thanks but that I would never ask for a ride again after getting up that early.

11.  The ‘wolf’ Maui’s alter-ego that comes out during the final hours of his last shift of the week.  It spells doom for those in his path keeping him from the back door.

12.  Convinced me to buy an entire cd by an artist named Michael Franks that had 1 good song, it was a waste of $14, ended up giving it to him, happy flippin’ birthday.

13.  Begging me to leave a few cd’s behind to listen to at night, several years ago, coming back in to find them soaked in grease and dust, instantly ruined.

14.  When we recently switched to a slightly smaller round plate Maui spent several minutes staring at it thinking he had lost his mind.

15.  The old days of constantly sending people up to Tedeschi’s to buy scratch tickets, Five Dollah, Five Dollah!?  All-time classic.

16.  Recently grabbing his beer too fast and it spraying all over his face, seeing him standing there with it dripping on the floor was too funny.

17.  Buying hundreds of dollars worth of stuff from the chef catalog, hats, pants, shoes, the whole works.  Where are my damn shoes!?

18.  Being the Mayor of Cape Cod, he knows everyone that walks in the door.

19.  That being said he forgets everyone’s name, if he pauses, or calls you ‘honey’, ‘brutha,’ or something like that it’s because he has no clue what your name is.

20.  A summer prep guy asked why his parents named him Maui.  His response? 'Who the f*ck would name their kid Maui?'

I love you Maui, you’re my mentor and this is all out of love!

Song of the Day:  Burn One Down – Ben Harper

Photo of the Day:  Old school Marsh beer, provided by Dana.