8 - June 13, 2010 - Sh*t Maui Says Vol. 1

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Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

June 13, 2010 – Sh*t Maui Says Volume 1

1.      Maui on Tips for Wait Staff – “It doesn’t matter about the food, it comes down to service and looks.  Better looking means better tips.”

2.      Maui on Chocolate – “Breakfast of champions.”

3.      Maui when one of the dishwashers get upset – “Shut the f*ck up before I kick your ass.”

4.      Maui on the wait staff in general – “Why are you all so stupid!?”

5.      Maui on college kids working at the Marsh – “Stop wasting your parents’ money, obviously you’re not learning anything.”

6.      Maui on Customer Complaints (overcooked meats) – “Tell him come back here so I can choke his neck until it is the right color for his steak.”

7.      Maui on allergies – “I don’t believe him/her, I want to go out there and see their face swell up first.”

8.      Maui on getting the job done – “Take your time but hurry up.”

9.      Maui on working together – “Get out of my space.”

10.  Maui on executives – “He’s a f*cking bonehead.”

11.  Maui on horse racing – “Stupid f*cking horse, you’re gonna be hash by tomorrow!”

12.  Maui on cleanliness – “I want this place to be clean like my ass.”

13.  Maui on a dishwasher complaining of headaches – “What’s the matter?  You been whacking off so much that it made you dizzy?”

14.  Maui on special orders – “What the f*ck is this bull sh*t!?  They making their own f*cking menu out there?”

15.  Maui on his birthday celebration today – “We need to order some strippers, oh hey you’ll do!”

Song of the Day:  Pakalolo - Makaha Sons of Ni'ihau

Photo of the Day:  As the Village People, Halloween 1999 (Me, Maui, Remi)

6 - June 7, 2010

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

June 7, 2010

1.      Woke up Saturday at 8:45am with it pitch black out, the line of severe thunderstorms that rolled through were sick.  It actually got really bright when the rain came down like one big sheet.  I pity those who were outside in that.

2.      Did not know there was a such thing as a Sharpie tree until I saw one hanging on a branch leaving work today.  Where do I buy Sharpie seeds so I can grow my own?

3.      Nothing beats cold, raw chicken juice as it runs down your leg into your sock.  Sadly it was not the first time, nor was it the worst thing I’ve spilled on myself.

4.      I guess I am the last person to get smacked by the pollen, it worked its way down the ladder and now has me hurting.  Should I even bother to buy allergy meds since the pollen season ends soon? 

5.      I can’t be the only one that gets annoyed by people who start eating chips in line at the sub shops.  I mean, are you that hungry that you can’t even wait to pay for them first?  Chew some gum to take your mind off it.

6.      Food for thought: If you made just ½ of 1% of what Alex Rodriguez is making this year you would be making $165,000.  That’s right .5%, just sick, especially since he’s a jackass and a Yankee.

7.      My mother was so happy that she had washed my nephew’s balls.  Of course she meant his toys he plays with, but it was still good for a laugh.

8.      I think its time to invest in some new gym shirts, wearing the same collection of 4 for nearly two years have left them impossible to get fully clean/fresh.  It’s not a good look, smell, or feeling.

9.      Got to bear witness to a crazy old man sitting in Subway talking out loud to nobody, it was even better when a crazy middle aged man showed up and tried to have a conversation with him.  Wow, it was like break time at the nut house.

10.  Highbank Bridge in Yarmouth has been worked on for so long I swear these people damage something else while they fix one thing just so they can milk the crazy money they get for holding their hands up to direct traffic.  Trained monkeys will do it cheaper you know?

11.  Wishing my brother Matt a happy 27^th birthday, well it was yesterday but it took me 2 days to finish this.

12.  If you want a good laugh hit the Subway in Hyannis at the Exit 6 off ramp at night.  There is a guy who works there that literally sings your order to you.  If you can make it through your order without laughing you are better than me.  I sort of want to see someone try to piss him off to see if he’d sing angrily at the person.

Quote of the Day: “The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” – Sven Goran Eriksson

Song of the Day: Everybody Here Wants You – Jeff Buckley

Photo of the Day:  Pembroke, Mass. - A war memorial statue stands among rides for an upcoming carnival.