Child of the 1980's - Daytime Television Infomercials

                In this day of smartphones, tablets, laptops, and extremely advance video game consoles children who get sick and have to stay home from school are quite likely to have a lot of outlets for entertainment during their recovery.  Thirty years ago during the decade of the 1980’s it was a much different story.  Sure if you were lucky you might have had access to a Nintendo Entertainment System, but I know that my time on it during sickness was limited.  My mother would make sure that I pretty much stayed in bed if I was sick.  That ruled out the NES as there was only so far the controllers would reach out. 

                What it left me was the television.  Granted by the mid-80’s many households had cable which gave more choices in terms of what to watch.  Still, the television broadcast during typical school hours was severely lacking in anything of substance.  It was during the 1980’s that a new sort of program began to pop up.  This would be the paid advertisement program known as the infomercial.  It was typically a half-hour long showcase of some ‘must-have’ product which would revolutionize the world.  Very rarely would that happen.  In addition there were many new products running in shorter advertisements that fell into the ‘as seen on TV’ variety which is all too common today.  Thirty-plus years ago infomercials and television-exclusive products were new and I guess exciting.  So let’s take a trip down memory lane with some of the greatest hits of 1980’s infomercials and television-exclusive products.

                One product that immediately comes to mind when I think of my sick days in the 1980’s has to be the Life Call.  Who could forget the image of the elderly Mrs. Fletcher lying on her side next to her tipped over walker screaming into her Life Call “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”  By pressing the button on the alert necklace police and rescue would be called and sent out to the person in need.  This product came about in the late 1980’s and a similar product still exists today under the name Life Alert.

                Another classic which is still around today is the Chia Pet.  A ceramic follower pot basically, shaped like anything from a sheep to a human head, in which you could grow chia seeds which sprouted like hair/fur through the chosen pot.  Surely any child of the 1980’s, or any since cannot think of a Chia Pet and not immediately think “Ch-ch-ch-chia!”  Though it was invented in 1977 it hit its stride in the 80’s and as of 2007 it was reported that more than 500,000 Chia Pets were sold annually, during the holidays alone.

In a bit of lightning striking twice the same company which came up with the Chia Pet also came up with another 1980’s classic The Clapper.  “Clap On! Clap Off!”  The product, which debuted in 1985, was a sensor outlet that responded to your clapping, or other very loud stimulus causing whatever was plugged in through the special outlet to switch on or off.  It led to some hilariously 80’s commercials and is still available today.

A trip down the infomercial memory lane wouldn’t be complete without Ginsu Knives.  Though the word ginsu means nothing it was meant to sound Asian, as if related to the Japanese samurai sword as far as sharpness went.  It debuted in the first half of the 20^th century but became well known through a series of ads which began in 1978.  They were a success and Ginsu sold between two and three million units by 1984.  The main selling point was how sharp the knives were and how they would never dull.  The ads would show the knives cutting through various items like nails, tin cans, and a radiator hose.  These are also still available today.

Some honorable mentions for a possible followup post include: Thighmaster, Mr. Microphone,  Saladmaster Cookware, Smokeless Ashtray, Sweatin’ to the Oldies, etc.

Come on back for some more crazy but true stories from the 1980’s!  Click here to check out my last blog when I first discovered Movies Are Not Real.

Child of the 1980's - Christmas Toys

                ‘Tis the season to be jolly.  ‘Tis also the season of giving.  As a child, whether in the 1980’s or 2010’s there is always that A1 top of the line gift that becomes the must-have of the year.  It never fails, with the right combination of originality, appeal, and marketing, each year seems to bring forth one particular item that every child begs their parents for.  The 1980’s gave us plenty of those.  Here are some of the iconic toys that made parents trample each other in Toys R Us, KB Toys, Child World, FAO Schwarz, and others.

Cabbage Patch Kids – 1983 – Technically these insanely popular dolls were invented in 1978 by Xavier Roberts.  Initially called ‘The Little People’ they would not be sold, rather adopted, by their owners, complete with name and birth certificate.  In 1982 the dolls were renamed Cabbage Patch Dolls and began being sold through Coleco.  At their peak in 1983 the dolls sold 2.5 million units in one year and in 1984 sales of Cabbage Patch Dolls reached $1 billion.  As of 2012 more than 115 million of these had been sold.

Nintendo Entertainment System – 1986 – Before the NES the home video game market was dominated by Atari and to a lesser extent Coleco.  The Nintendo was quietly released in America in October 1985, gaining steam in popularity in 1986 thanks to games like Super Mario Bros., Legend of Zelda, and Metroid.  In its peak year, 1988, the NES sold 7 million units and more than 32 million cartridges.  Sales reached $1.7 billion and in a true showing of what a juggernaut the NES was the company claims that if not for a worldwide computer chip shortage in 1988 they would have likely sold as many as 40% more cartridges.  They would create another highly sought after Christmas gift the following year when they released the Game Boy.

Rubik’s Cube – 1980 – Created by Erno Rubik in 1974, this handheld puzzle became the highest selling toy of all-time.  It was unleashed en mass upon consumers in 1980 through Ideal Toys.  The cube, covered with moveable colored squares, would sell 4.5 million units in 1980 alone and as of 2014 more than 350 million had been sold.  If you have never been able to solve this puzzle have no fear, even Rubik himself couldn’t solve his product upon its creation.  That being said, the Guinness Book of World Records says that the quickest solve of the Rubik’s Cube is a mere ten seconds.

Teddy Ruxpin – 1985 – This animatronic teddy bear burst on the scene in 1985 with his wide eyes and cassettes put into his back to allow him to tell stories.  At its peak the stuffed bear would have its own cartoon show and sold a million units in 1985.  Created by Ken Forsee it was sold initially through Worlds of Wonder and after that Hasbro and there were more than three dozen story cassettes that one could buy.  Teddy Ruxpin was voiced by Phil Baron who also voiced Piglet in the live-action Welcome to Pooh Corner.  This toy has vanished and been brought back four times including a relaunch in 2017.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 1989 – This collection of four anthropomorphic turtles got their start as comic books heroes in 1984.  Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo would crossover into television in 1987 and Turtlemania was underway.  A series of action figures through Playmates Toys would sell big in 1988 when the animated series became a Saturday morning staple.  Sales would grow even larger in 1989 and with a live action movie in 1990 TMNT would sell more than 30 million units by the end of 1990 with the franchise being valued at $1 billion by then.

              
         There were plenty of other big hit toys that made 1980’s Christmases fun and shopping for them crazy for our parents.  Did you have any of these?  Were there any other favorites that I missed? I am sure there will be a Volume 2 sometime.  Check back in for more bodacious 1980’s memories!

Click here for my previous Child of the 1980's Blog about Sugary Breakfast Cereals!

Child of the 1980's - Atari 2600

                In 2017 it is hard to imagine a time when video games were primitive.  Xbox, Nintendo Wii, and Playstation have all lay claim to some incredible games and consoles.  The graphics and stories are mind-blowing with new advances in technology coming at such a rapid pace.  Handheld consoles, virtual reality, motion-capture, and more have become the norm.  However there was a time not very long ago where a dot bouncing across a screen between two sliding bars was the biggest thing on earth.  Before the more recent games where the graphics mimic reality there was a time when 8-bit graphics were the greatest thing going.  It was during this time, as a child of the 1980’s, where I was introduced to the world of video games.  It was not through Nintendo, or Sega, or Xbox, or Playstation.  It was through the granddaddy of video game consoles, the Atari 2600.

Atari 2600

                In the late 1970’s and early 1980’s if a kid wanted to play video games it was usually off to the video arcade.  It was less common for a kid to have a home console although a few did exist, specifically ColecoVision and Atari VCS.  Atari had a firm grip on the market though as they had established themselves by creating the game Pong in 1972, one of the earliest video arcade games. The Atari Video Console System was an 8-bit system released in September 1977.  It would sell for between $199-229 ($803-925 in 2017) and popularize cartridge-based consoles with games being loaded into the top of the machine.  The games would be controlled with a simple joystick coupled with one red button.  Initially Atari released nine games with its VCS: Air-Sea Battle, Basic Math, Blackjack, Combat, Indy 500, Star Ship, Street Racer, two versions of Surround, Video Olympics.

                Atari would change its console from the VCS to 2600 in 1982 when they released its successor the 5200.  It was around this time that I was introduced to home video games.  I can clearly remember playing games like Pitfall, Missile Command, and Pac-Man at home on weekends or after school.  Pac-Man would go on to become the top-selling game ever on Atari along with a pop culture icon.  Some of the other legendary games that came along through the Atari include Asteroids, Space Invaders, Frogger, Dig Dug, Pole Position, Mario Bros., and Donkey Kong.

Pac-Man Screenshot

                I did not get a chance to play all of those games on my home console, as the early 1980’s were still a time where video games were new and rare and still seen as a niche, or a luxury, while playing outside was the go to activity for kids.  However I loved playing my Atari, and so did a lot of other people.  When all was said and done the Atari 2600 sold over 30 million consoles and hundreds of millions of games during its time in existence.

                

     Atari’s grasp on the throne would come to an end quickly.  Oversaturation of the market led to a huge drop in sales beginning in late 1983.  They continued to slip in 1984 and 1985 with many thinking home video game consoles were fading away.  Then in late 1985 Japan brought its Nintendo Entertainment System to the United States.  It would revitalize the video game industry eventually rendering Atari obsolete and selling more than 60 million units worldwide.

                

     Ironically more than thirty years after Atari was the biggest thing in video games one can play some of the classics online.  There are original consoles still able to be found on eBay along with the popular Atari Flashback new consoles.  The company also made headlines again in 2014 when 1,300 unsold cartridges, many of them of the huge failure E.T., were uncovered in the desert in New Mexico.  Atari officials said that the burial was of over 700,000 cartridges in 1983 but was frequently dismissed as only an urban legend.

                Despite it being mainly a footnote in the history of video gaming there is no denying the importance of Atari.  I have lots of fond memories swinging on vines as Pitfall, shooting aliens in Space Invaders, and chomping ghosts in Pac-Man.  What were the first video games you remember playing?  Stay tuned for more awesome 80’s memories!

Click here to check out my last Child of the 80's blog about my Introduction to Music.

11 - June 20, 2010

Initial Impressions

Christopher Setterlund

June 20, 2010

1.      So I spent nearly 72 hours without television in my new place, tried everything possible to get the cable to work.  Turns out that I had the TV hooked into a cable outlet that had no power, that made me feel really smart.

2.      I find it humorous that a 50-something man from Haiti who speaks almost no English, and a 50-something man from Brazil who speaks almost no English can somehow carry on hours of conversation.  What the hell do they say?  No. Yes. Busy. No good.  Stimulating.

3.      Am starting to believe that mosquitoes plan their days around when I will be getting in and out of my car at my new place.  They come out of nowhere when I hit the car, maybe there are alarms going off at their nests with me on a big screen.

4.      Today I was trying to get the Italy/New Zealand World Cup game on TV at work.  Messed around with the remote but got no picture on the screen.  Finally figured it out and got a picture, it was the On Demand porn section.  Being guys of course we checked out all the titles, but I stopped short of ordering when I realized even though they agreed the guys would point the finger at me as the trigger man.

5.      It is incredible that we have reached the point where all of the 80’s movies and television are being remade. Transformers, A-Team, Karate Kid, Smurfs, Fraggle Rock, Thundercats, GI Joe, and now Pac Man.  Feel like I am 8 years old again, but the Mannequin remake, uh we can do without that.

6.      Which would you rather have to deal with pollen or humidity?  Man I’d settle for 60 degrees and pollen rather than clear air 85 and sticky.

7.      You need to exercise great patience and be willing to wait for something you really want.

8.      I know that the beaches become free again sometime after 5, but when do these gate keepers arrive in the morning?  I mean if I got there before them there’s nothing they could do, right?  I am going to go to the beach at 6am and see who’s there.

9.      So I woke up after the disappointing end to the Celtics Game 7 and suddenly realized the Red Sox have the 3^rd best record in baseball.  Guess the stories of them being dead and buried were false.

10.  Heard Don McLean’s ‘American Pie’ today, just have to wonder how you follow up a song that ends up being one of the most famous ever?  Should you just retire, or make inferior music and damage your rep?

11.  Wishing a Happy Father’s Day to my Dad, Jack, my Grampa, Sully, and my stepdad, Serpa. 

Maui Quote of the Day: - being asked if he wanted some Italian bread for a sub – “Do I look Italian? F*ck the French!”

Song of the Day: Take Me There – Rascal Flatts  buy the mp3 here

Do You Remember?:  Odd 1980’s Cereals – OJ’s Cereal, Rocky Road Cereal, Circus Fun, Ice Cream Cones, Nintendo Cereal

Photo of the Day: Wellfleet Harbor